A Review
October 1998
The Newsletter of CH.A.D.D. of Upper Bux-Mont PA In March 1998, Dr. Steven Richfield, a psychologist on our chapter’s professional advisory board, spoke to us about tools to help parents guide their children toward social, emotional, and academic success. In his practice, Dr. Richfield likens a parent’s role in the teaching of social skills to that of a coach. The parent-coach anticipates situations, comes prepared with a play-book, and makes it clear that both parent and child are on the same side. When a child exhibits behavior problems, the coach assists in finding causes and corrective solutions. This prevents the parent from overreacting in a harsh and punitive or overly lenient manner.
Parents often need some form of outside assistance in developing their coaching skills. In an effort to fill this niche, Dr. Richfield has developed a self-help tool called Parent Coaching Cards. He has donated a set of cards to our chapter library. They will be available for parents to read during meetings, but the cards may not be taken home.
The coaching package is made up of three parts. There is a set of twenty 4 x 6 cards with a colorful illustration and catchy, memorable phrase regarding a social situation on the one side and a printed self-help message on the other. In addition there is an instruction booklet for parents with suggestions on how to use the cards for children of different ages and response levels as well as tips on how and when to use each specific card. A coloring book containing the card illustrations allows younger children to become more actively involved in the message being conveyed.
In testing Parent Coaching Cards on my own children, I used a low-key approach; I simply laid the set of cards on the kitchen counter. Of course my curious boys were soon drawn to the cartoon-style illustrations of kids getting into problem situations similar to their own, and they wanted to know what these were all about. The three of us then sat down together, looked at the illustrations, read the phrases and then the longer messages on the backs. By the time we reached the last card, my 7 year-old had reached his attention limit. My 11 year-old was able to go back and pick out the situations which came up most frequently or were most difficult for him. He was amazed to find that these same difficult situations happen to so many children that someone actually went to the trouble of inventing a tool to help. He felt less alone with his social problems. (His most used card is Don’t Take The Bait!)
Over the next week or so, the card set laid on the counter, and the boys occasionally looked at it. Whenever a similar situation would occur in their own lives, we would mention the phrase, and it seemed easier for them to stop and think about what was happening.
I put the cards away for a month or so, then got them out today to help write this review. The boys saw them and were again ready to pick them up to review the situations. My older son told me he thinks about the information he learned from the cards when he gets into tough situations at school. The illustrations and phrases have helped him remember the messages.
An advantage of the Parent Coaching Cards is that they can be utilized as a self-help program by parents in varying degrees from casual to intensive, or the cards can be used in conjunction with more structured programs involving school or professional psychological services.
The cards deliver the following messages:
· Thinking Side And Reacting Side
· Can’t Always Get What You Want!
· Beat The Fear
· Know When To Back Off!
· Stay Tuned In!
· Find The Brakes!
· Watch Out For Your Hooks!
· Repair The Tear
· The Importance Of Quick Recovery
· Slow To Success
· Think And Plan Ahead
· Quit The Clowning
· When Words Pop Out Watch Out!
· Step Into Your Cantaloupe Skin!
· Don’t Take The Bait!
· Show Your Love For People, Not Just For Stuff!
· Don’t Trust Your Jealous Feelings!
· Be Flexible!
· Cooperation!
· Say It And Show It When You Get It!
For more information check out www.parentcoachcards.com
Cards will also be included on the book sale table.
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