Sports Coaching The Child With ADHD
Countless parents of children with ADHD face the daunting
question, "What do I tell my child's coach about his/her problem,
and do I dare say anything at all?" This dilemma pits parents'
instincts to help their child against fears that revelations will
backfire. Considering the varied and controversial opinions held about
ADHD and its treatment, parents are wise to proceed cautiously. However,
too much caution can invite disaster when ADHD children take to the
athletic field while their coaches remain in the dark about their
disorder.
While
many parents benefit from discussing the question with others in similar
circumstances, don’t rely on a "rule of thumb" but
consider all the individual factors at play. These include the skills
specific to the sport in question, the degree of interference parents
have observed in backyard games, and how much is known about the coach.
If there is a clear rationale to approach the coach about your child’s
ADHD, these tips can help young ADHD athletes flourish on the sports
field:
Define the problem rather than simply give a label open to
interpretation. Explaining that your child has ADHD to an
uninformed adult can invite misunderstanding and misjudgment. Well
intentioned coaches might err in the direction of "over-accommodating"
to the problem, creating the impression that your child is receiving
preferential treatment. Likewise, it could lead the coach to reduce
your child’s playing time, defeating your purpose. Consider
the following explanation, "My child has ADHD, which means that
his ability to pay attention for extended periods and control distracting
behaviors is not as strong as others his age. If these problems surface,
please privately discuss them with him and remind him that he has
asked to be on the team and this carries responsibilities. Also, let
me know if this happens."
Offer ideas to the coach that are easy to implement, non-embarrassing,
and linked to home-based strategies. Most coaches will gladly
accept simple and effective suggestions. One unobtrusive one is designed
to reinforce the need for appropriate behavior if he observes your
child clowning or misbehaving. Suggest that he call out his name and
point to his own head with a forefinger to signify the need to keep
his thinking side in charge. Another idea is to tell him that ADHD
may make it hard for your child to pick up important clues in the
game that are used by players to give themselves directions, such
as the need to back up the short shop if playing in left field. Suggest
that he periodically conference with your child about the role of
clues and self-directions as they apply to the game. Thirdly, emphasize
that the presence of other misbehaving teammates can be especially
tempting to ADHD children. Suggest that he not overlook the baiting
behavior of these other players when intervening.
Tactfully
stress the importance of positive reinforcement, close supervision,
and appropriate boundaries and consequences. Coaches should
be aware that ADHD children's behavior varies greatly depending upon
various factors in their environment. Clearly explain how temporarily
relaxing rules and boundaries could be especially problematic for
your child since they already have a tendency to overstep them. Alternately,
coaches who lose their temper may set in motion a similar reaction
in your child. The challenge is to be able to communicate this information
without insulting the coach or appearing like a pushy parent. Consider
ending your comments with these words: "I appreciate your willingness
to listen to my suggestions and I realize that in the heat of competition
you won’t be able to follow them all. All I ask is you try and
keep me posted."
Ensure your child is aware of your discussion and prepared
to receive the coach’s signals. Explain the importance
of preparing themselves before games and practices so that the coach
will not have to provide frequent reminders. Strategize how they will
handle fooling around by teammates, distractions on the field, and
performance frustrations, such as striking out or dropping the ball.
Inoculate them to these inevitable experiences by having them rehearse
self-control strategies while practicing in the backyard.
Dr.
Steven Richfield is a child psychologist in Plymouth Meeting, PA.
He has developed a child-friendly self-control/social skills building
program called Parent Coaching Cards. His new book, The Parent Coach:
A New Approach To Parenting In Today’s Society is available
through Sopris West (sopriswest.com or 1-800-547-6747) He can be contacted
at www.parentcoachcards.com or 610-238-4450
