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Coaching Strengths In Children With Learning Disabilities
Parents write: Our son struggles with learning disabilities and appears so defeated most of the time. How can we help him gain a better perspective in order to value his strengths? Children with learning disabilities live with plenty of frustration. Some of it comes from the fact that academic goals are harder for them to reach. Other frustration is a byproduct of the overabundance of criticism and feedback from significant figures, such as parents and teachers. Over time, these pressures deliver crushing blows to their pride. In an effort to protect a vulnerable self-esteem, children with LD are often loath to acknowledge their weaknesses and limitations. Too direct an approach on weakness can breed distrust of those attempting to help, and cause LD kids to shut down. A strength-based approach can build trust and facilitate openness. Parents and teachers are urged to proceed slowly, balancing discussion of weakness with praise for strengths. Here are some ways to build such an approach: Think broadly when pinpointing strength. Learning disabilities infiltrate those areas with outcome measures, such as grades, timeliness, and diligence. But passion, loyalty, kindness, and humility are just as critical to living a happy life. One way to determine strengths is to evaluate your child’s “walk of life” and the responsibilities encountered each day. Take mental notes of these life successes. Ensure your child’s self-perception is not narrowly focused upon academic outcome by supplying ample praise of those areas of strength that “fall under the radar.” Carefully respond to areas of weakness. Prepare for your child’s limitations to surface and see this as an opportunity for coaching, not reproaching. Developing a coaching response means replacing negative feedback with a comforting tone and firm focus upon ways to guide them in self-correcting areas of weakness. Resist the temptation to forecast all the problems they will encounter if they don’t follow your advice; this tactic tends to terribly backfire. Instead, express confidence they can continue to sharpen their skills and develop their identity. Coach them to access their strengths when upset about their weaknesses. The chronic struggles of learning disabilities typically lead to overreactions when weaknesses pop up. Parents can help by identifying common triggers and preparing children ahead of time when a weakness is heading their way. Next, help fortify your child’s self-esteem by having them remind themselves of a recent success. Emphasize positive self-talk and a visual image that earmarks their strength. Offer plenty of opportunity for your child to showcase their strengths. Whether it is drama, music, art, sports, or another avenue, all children need to indulge their passions and relish the rewards. This is especially true for learning disabled children who are so often handicapped by internal obstacles and external challenges. Therefore, it is especially critical that parents take pictures or video whenever possible, such that these accomplishments are highlighted and the images become an indelible part of the child’s self-perception.
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